"According to research reported in the July 2010 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, we are attracted to people who resemble our parents or ourselves."

Makes sense though? Right?
Weirdly enough all of my friends, family and previous boyfriends have either my or my parent's characteristics. Perhaps it isn't that strange after all? We are used to look at ourselves in the mirror and in my case almost three decades of looking at my own and my parents faces it kinda turned out as a recognition of safety. These familiar character traits has become an easy unconscious choice to stay comfortable, as we all know, we all strive to stay secure, economically, friends wise, family wise, housing wise an so on. All of us wants a place where we can relax and let our guards down. And all our life we've learned which kind of people to "trust" more than others.
The reason why I started once more pondering about this fairly interesting concept more deeply is because suddenly I found myself in a situation where it's basically literally in my face and it creeps me out.

My previous boyfriend turned out to be an almost exact look alike, we heard several times that we could be twins or even was asked if we were brother and sister. Lol funny but we were madly in love with each other. Were we really just in love with ourselves?

I totally get the concept and of course I'd (or my unconscious mental state) prefer to happily remain in the circle of resemblance but a challenge has shown up in which I need to break this pattern of mine if it is to be continued. Challenge accepted? Hmm it actually freaks me out which is also way too hilarious that it does, almost weird that it frightens me, that I, with such insights to psychology has a resistance towards embracing new character traits amongst my closest people. But I totally get why, which is of course is the only way to change this whole situation and turn it in to a positive exciting adventure of opening my arms to and embrace new kinds of (character traits) people entering my life in the future. Haha it's all to witty that I even write this, feeling like such a discriminator? I find it immensely embarrassing actually. But well, research shows (making me more relieved) that it's usual feeling and thinking like this either unconsciously or consciously. Have you ever been thinking about it before? Try to think, how do your friends look? What does your family look like? What's your own character traits? Who do you normally tend to find attractive? What about instant attraction looking at photos, people walking by you on the street, subway etc..? Try noticing it. It might show up as an unconscious crazy factor of your choices of people.. Some people have never ever though about this at all earlier, and some people don't even follow this ancient instinct at all, but most of us are according to scientific studies.

What's your thoughts on this?
Safety first? Or "risk"? What do you prefer?

Adding on some reflections:
Often love is based on fear. We are haunted by the fear of not being loved, then taking a risk adding a second fear(trying to be loved by someone with and unfamiliar face and body) is difficult for our unconscious self? Don't you think? Just throwing some thoughts out here.

Curious to dig into this? Read some more about it here:

There is something disturbing about the people we end up with
The scientific reason why you're attracted to people who look like you
Dating narcis sism
Why we are attracted to people just like us
Are we attracted to people looking like us?

Apr 13, 2019

Foundational Inspiration

I’d like to share with you some content I love going back to whenever I feel stuck, unfocused or frustrated. Perhaps you might find some inspiration in my motivational resources too. I’m sure many of you are familiar with this already.

Listening to podcasts, books or videos from Tim Ferriss, Oprah, Larry King, Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Gary Vaynerchuck is always a safe bet - these people reminds me of who I am and where I want to be therefore easily put me back on track. Two books I always have in mind are “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek and “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown

But below are two videos that never goes out of date and has been essential to me start going after what I really want.

Video nr 1 Casey Video “You Can’t”

This video is for everybody that has been told that “they couldn’t do something just because.” I grew up in an environment where doing what I truly wanted as a grown up never seemed like an option. I was filled up with doubt in the life of becoming an adolescence cause I though I had to settle down with a life I didn’t wanted and that the only possibilities were either becoming a doctor, nurse, lawyer, journalist or teacher or firefighter or policeman. I had no one to look to for inspiration. Being an entrepreneur was an unfamiliar concept. No one once mentioned to me that I actually can create my reality, I can make my life just the way I want it. But deep within I knew that there had to be more, I wanted to be my own brand. I wanted to create a life around me and my passion but I didn’t know how. And it took me 29 years to figure it and dare going for it. I wonder what would happen if someone at a young age presented to me the concept of entrepreneurship. Anyhow, watch this and be inspired.

Are We Attracted To People That Look Like Us?

Yrja's Thoughts About Anything & Everything.